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[28 Jan 2009|02:46pm]
What what what!

People are starting to bug the shit out of me. Just people in general. The way we all act. It's so ridiculous.

A+ in his-7 right now!

If I end up getting an A in this class, Im going to celebrate BIG time by buying a new video game.
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[27 Jan 2009|10:44pm]
I wasn't aware that I still had one of these things.

So let me say Hi to all who still use livejournal and who will see this.

Hi Danielle

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[24 Sep 2007|03:00pm]
Everything has been feeling awkward.

I honestly think that I am really sick. I know I complain about feeling sick a lot, but I mean it this time. I have NO energy, my skin gets lighter everyday, my eyes are surounded by purple rings, and Im getting MASSIVE bruises for no logical reason. Im pretty sure that my hair is falling out too.

And what sucks is that going to the hospital is basically no use, because kaiser is pathetic when it comes to finding out whats wrong with someone who doesnt have the flu or a common cold.

School is pretty difficult to deal with. My classes arent that challenging, but getting there and back is. Apparently RCC is the hot spot this year for newly graduated high school students (Not that is hasnt ALWAYS been that way, its just so much worse). I have to leave at least an hour early to even find parking the the damn parking structure that NO ONE used to use. At least I have Spanish and Mat-11 to keep me thinking and painting and ceramics to keep me sane.

I gotta get paid so I can go shopping for the rest of my appartment supplies. That will mak me feel a lot better. I need a job too, so hook me up if you can.

Knotts Scary Farm on saturday with Carlitos, I better have fun.

Christmas is even more far away this year because I have Lindsey to look forward to now. Come on December!
For LindseyCollapse )
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[27 Aug 2007|11:05pm]
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Long story short [01 Aug 2007|09:55am]
So my dad got ridiculously drunk one night, his alcoholic girlfriend told me off, and Danielle ripped my dad's throat out finally.

We're both not comming home until he quits drinking.


I miss Lindsey.
I miss my cats.
I need a job.
I need paint.

Thats about it.
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[16 Jul 2007|10:50am]
I love Lindsey, and she is leaving next week to Washington.

: (

But it's ok because Riverside doesnt deserve her!
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[26 May 2007|02:26pm]
Im constantly sick.
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Serious dramatization [20 May 2007|11:20pm]
I cant handle the fact that I'm regretting all of these decisions. I cant believe what I have done to myself, and that has no weight on what Ive done to the others involved.

Its fucking amazing how well I hide it from everyone though. Ive become so great at it that I dont even realize when Im doing it, and the few times that I do its really terribly hard to stop.

I feel so fake sometimes that Im not even here. I lose consciousness into my thoughts of old times so intensely that I honestly feel numb.

I just wish that I didnt have to fuck shit up. I didnt need to be alone during my transition era. It didnt fucking make ANYTHING better.

Im not fucking happy, and Im finally able to admit it.

I love everyone though. I still love everyone after all this shit. I just need to actually LOVE someone right now.
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[01 Mar 2007|05:21pm]
I missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you!
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[23 Feb 2007|11:33am]
Oh, my loooooooooooooove.

We both go down together.
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[08 Feb 2007|07:43pm]
New view on life.

I think its gonna be great.

Got a lot off my shoulders.

And a new dress.

Lindsey. I know that somewhere deep inside your heart, you loved that BSB book from the 99 cent store.
I just had to get it.
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[20 Jan 2007|04:16pm]
Ive been really depressed and akward lately.

Everything feels different and uncomfortable.

I want life to feel real, not like a bad dream.

Why is it that when you leave your comfort zone for too long, it doesnt exist anymore?

I guess I need a new one.
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[10 Jan 2007|10:17pm]
: (
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[01 Jan 2007|12:52pm]
So I have ONE dream, and I cant stop thinking about it. It wasnt a very pleasant dream, but it wasnt scary.

Im confused now, my mind has an alter ego.

I feel like Don Juan...or maybe Brown Juan.
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[23 Dec 2006|10:44pm]
L is for the way you look at me.
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[20 Dec 2006|06:30pm]
I guess this is one of those times where you want to burry your head into a stack of really soft pillows and scream as loud as you possibly can. Maybe kick your feet around and punch the pillows as you scream into them.

I have decided that my whole problem is that I am desperatley trying to push myself closer to certain people to make up for the fact that I dont have the warmth that I need, yet. These things cant be rushed, and I think thats what I am subconsciously doing.

Sometimes I feel like Im better off living by myself in Iowa and becomming a huge corn fed hick. Just so I could get used to being alone and away from people. Not having any emotional ties or even contacts. Its sad how there are days where i feel like THAT is my current state. Execpt of course I am alone in my house, not in Iowa.

Oh well, Im sure things will be fine soon, they always pick up.
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[14 Dec 2006|10:36pm]
Cheast pain isnt good.

It doesnt feel good either.

I really need to get into the doctors sometime soon though, fuck being worried. But then again fuck Kaiser, if anything IS wrong with me they wont even know about it unitil years after Im dead.
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[05 Dec 2006|09:16pm]
So life is really good.

Normally you would come on livejournal to complain about everything (I usually do), but this time im excited.

Im getting a car as soon as I find one, and Lindsey and I our taking our beach trip when its cold and hopefully not sunny. HOPEFULLY

Im saving money for something, Im not sure what it is yet, but Im saving it for something.

The panda is more amazing every new day.

The only thing negative on my mind lately is dying...it's creepy.
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[21 Nov 2006|09:27am]
I feel like shit again.

And what a familiar feeling it is.

And now it starts...
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[09 Nov 2006|06:10pm]

I almost forgot about you

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