(no subject)

What what what!

People are starting to bug the shit out of me. Just people in general. The way we all act. It's so ridiculous.

A+ in his-7 right now!

If I end up getting an A in this class, Im going to celebrate BIG time by buying a new video game.

(no subject)

I wasn't aware that I still had one of these things.

So let me say Hi to all who still use livejournal and who will see this.

Hi Danielle


(no subject)

Everything has been feeling awkward.

I honestly think that I am really sick. I know I complain about feeling sick a lot, but I mean it this time. I have NO energy, my skin gets lighter everyday, my eyes are surounded by purple rings, and Im getting MASSIVE bruises for no logical reason. Im pretty sure that my hair is falling out too.

And what sucks is that going to the hospital is basically no use, because kaiser is pathetic when it comes to finding out whats wrong with someone who doesnt have the flu or a common cold.

School is pretty difficult to deal with. My classes arent that challenging, but getting there and back is. Apparently RCC is the hot spot this year for newly graduated high school students (Not that is hasnt ALWAYS been that way, its just so much worse). I have to leave at least an hour early to even find parking the the damn parking structure that NO ONE used to use. At least I have Spanish and Mat-11 to keep me thinking and painting and ceramics to keep me sane.

I gotta get paid so I can go shopping for the rest of my appartment supplies. That will mak me feel a lot better. I need a job too, so hook me up if you can.

Knotts Scary Farm on saturday with Carlitos, I better have fun.

Christmas is even more far away this year because I have Lindsey to look forward to now. Come on December!
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Long story short

So my dad got ridiculously drunk one night, his alcoholic girlfriend told me off, and Danielle ripped my dad's throat out finally.

We're both not comming home until he quits drinking.


I miss Lindsey.
I miss my cats.
I need a job.
I need paint.

Thats about it.

Serious dramatization

I cant handle the fact that I'm regretting all of these decisions. I cant believe what I have done to myself, and that has no weight on what Ive done to the others involved.

Its fucking amazing how well I hide it from everyone though. Ive become so great at it that I dont even realize when Im doing it, and the few times that I do its really terribly hard to stop.

I feel so fake sometimes that Im not even here. I lose consciousness into my thoughts of old times so intensely that I honestly feel numb.

I just wish that I didnt have to fuck shit up. I didnt need to be alone during my transition era. It didnt fucking make ANYTHING better.

Im not fucking happy, and Im finally able to admit it.

I love everyone though. I still love everyone after all this shit. I just need to actually LOVE someone right now.